I don't usually have enough knowledge on most of the subjects on Hacker News to make a useful comment, but I can absolutely relate to your situation.
I'm a freelance developer with two steady retainers, I have a wonderful partner, and I play in an up-and-coming rock band; I'm doing very well, from an outside perspective. However, for the past few months, I was unable to refill my antidepressant prescription during my transition to CoveredCA (or, at least wasn't sure how to do so, derp), which led me back into a pretty bad case of my depression, anxiety, and obsessive/compulsive behavior.
When I don't take my medication, I can hardly think straight for more than a few minutes at a time before I'm thrust into a really mentally exhausting power cycle of automatic negative thoughts, which usually results in intense physical discomfort and a generally unpleasant demeanor. I get rude and withdrawn, and often binge on comfort foods and mind-numbing television to deal with the fact that I feel absolutely no pleasure in life.
Fortunately, I figured out my medication situation and I'm feeling a lot better. A little embarrassed about some of the work that I produced during that time, but that's life!
I've found that in addition to medication, CONSISTENT exercise and diet and >7 hours of sleep are necessities for me, and if you aren't doing those before the medication, you should give it a try to see if it's enough for you to function well. It's really hard to do this when you don't have a regular routine, as I've come to discover, but you just sort of have to start forcing yourself to be on a schedule of some sort, or plan for when your schedule is going to be somewhat erratic.
Also, seeing a therapist is super beneficial, and I frankly think most people would benefit from seeing one. It really helps you to realize that your "crazies" aren't that crazy, and it's okay to have irrational thoughts and acknowledge them.
I'm a freelance developer with two steady retainers, I have a wonderful partner, and I play in an up-and-coming rock band; I'm doing very well, from an outside perspective. However, for the past few months, I was unable to refill my antidepressant prescription during my transition to CoveredCA (or, at least wasn't sure how to do so, derp), which led me back into a pretty bad case of my depression, anxiety, and obsessive/compulsive behavior.
When I don't take my medication, I can hardly think straight for more than a few minutes at a time before I'm thrust into a really mentally exhausting power cycle of automatic negative thoughts, which usually results in intense physical discomfort and a generally unpleasant demeanor. I get rude and withdrawn, and often binge on comfort foods and mind-numbing television to deal with the fact that I feel absolutely no pleasure in life.
Fortunately, I figured out my medication situation and I'm feeling a lot better. A little embarrassed about some of the work that I produced during that time, but that's life!
I've found that in addition to medication, CONSISTENT exercise and diet and >7 hours of sleep are necessities for me, and if you aren't doing those before the medication, you should give it a try to see if it's enough for you to function well. It's really hard to do this when you don't have a regular routine, as I've come to discover, but you just sort of have to start forcing yourself to be on a schedule of some sort, or plan for when your schedule is going to be somewhat erratic.
Also, seeing a therapist is super beneficial, and I frankly think most people would benefit from seeing one. It really helps you to realize that your "crazies" aren't that crazy, and it's okay to have irrational thoughts and acknowledge them.