I upvoted you. My apology for any offense. I think we're talking about two different issues.
Frequent moving and deployment are part of the job description with which you were associated; nothing arbitrary or for-amusement about it.
The author declared the relative arbitrariness of his moves yet admitted, "this is extremely hard on others..." This apparently didn't carry sufficient weight in his decision process to change the outcome.
Relating my own philosophy and how I implemented it is just one anecdotal opinion to share in a discussion - not a condemning proclamation nor a cited case study backing it up as what's best for children.
Thank you for the upvote and have one in return, but, oh, boy, are you opening up a can of worms that I am sure all of hacker news does not want to get into.
In a nutshell, the military was my ex's dream job that he thought I would not support. He pursued it anyway. (Reality: I supported it. It was his mother who was against it.) He liked to play the martyr card and act like deploying was some huge personal sacrifice for the good of the family -- while telling me I could not go off to college as it would destroy the marriage -- but it absolutely was not true. He loved that shit and taking care of his family was not a super high priority of his.
Second, most heterosexual relationships go (physically) where he wants to go/where his career takes him. That is the norm. That is not some aberration on the part of the OP.* It is part of why it has been relatively easy post divorce for me to keep telling attractive men that I found hot to take a fucking hike. I want a life. I am not interested in moving back in to some fucking gilded cage. I know the stats. Most marriages are strongly skewed towards supporting male privilege at female expense. Men and women alike are typically oblivious to the degree that this is true, so I get a lot of hatred when I start talking about such things.
Anyway, that's the short version. I have done lots of reading over the years related to such issues, so I know for a fact it is not peculiar to my (former) marriage. We can just agree to disagree here and not pursue some ugly bloodbath that will only make me a lightening rod for controversy, a role I loathe.
Have a great day.
* Edit: Which the OP states he did not do anyway, so let's not give me shit over that. It suggests he's less of a selfish asshole than your average guy, possibly not a good observation to make in a predominantly male forum, exactly why I don't really want to open this can of giant, writhing worms. Ugh.
Frequent moving and deployment are part of the job description with which you were associated; nothing arbitrary or for-amusement about it.
The author declared the relative arbitrariness of his moves yet admitted, "this is extremely hard on others..." This apparently didn't carry sufficient weight in his decision process to change the outcome.
Relating my own philosophy and how I implemented it is just one anecdotal opinion to share in a discussion - not a condemning proclamation nor a cited case study backing it up as what's best for children.