I think this is a false dichotomy. You can refuse to accept sub-par performance without being an asshole. You can help a person get better at something without making sure they know how much better/smarter/awesomer you are than they are. You can be critical while still having empathy.
And that, IMO, is the problem. Whatever it is that draws us to computers seems to select very well for poor empathy. I've spent 20 years actively trying to be more empathetic, and I still suck at it. For people who don't care, you wind up with the kind of behavior TFA talks about (and that I see echoed in your response).
Every excuse I've ever seen comes down to "I didn't care enough about the other person's feelings to put any extra effort into my communication." We aren't robots. Feelings matter.
And that, IMO, is the problem. Whatever it is that draws us to computers seems to select very well for poor empathy. I've spent 20 years actively trying to be more empathetic, and I still suck at it. For people who don't care, you wind up with the kind of behavior TFA talks about (and that I see echoed in your response).
Every excuse I've ever seen comes down to "I didn't care enough about the other person's feelings to put any extra effort into my communication." We aren't robots. Feelings matter.