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> Lexmark creates cloud-enabled imaging and IoT technologies that help customers worldwide quickly realize business outcomes. Through a powerful combination of proven technologies and deep industry expertise, Lexmark accelerates business transformation, turning information into insights, data into decisions, and analytics into action

Great, so I have no idea what they do.



I'm convinced only CEOs know how to translate that into English.

Company descriptions like this ought to be written as if you're explaining what your company does to a 6 year old. Imagine explaining your job to a class of first graders and telling them "I accelerate business transformation!" Yea, they'll be as lost as the rest of us.


Everyone at the top is clueless, faking it, and anxious they’ll be found out.


And based on social media, taken out.


"Oh stewardess, I speak jive." --- Barbara Billingsley


But seriously, what’s the point of putting out this drivel. Isn’t the point of these statements to excite investors and potential big customers. Who in the publicity chain thinks these statements move anything closer to a goal?


It seems that they can only turn stuff into other stuff if it starts with the same letter. That space is ripe for disruption!


> Lexmark creates cloud-enabled imaging and IoT technologies

We make printers

> that help customers worldwide quickly realize business outcomes.

To help you do business

> Through a powerful combination of proven technologies and deep industry expertise,

We've been doing this for a while

> Lexmark accelerates business transformation, turning information into insights, data into decisions, and analytics into action

We help your company get important work done

On this last point, a company is more than just its products, technology, and IP. It's people. People that are hopefully empowered and educated to make nimble decisions and rapidly respond to changing conditions.

But yeah, they sell printers.


The problem is that this bit:

> that help customers worldwide quickly realize business outcomes. Through a powerful combination of proven technologies and deep industry expertise, Lexmark accelerates business transformation, turning information into insights, data into decisions, and analytics into action

applies to every single b2b company in the world right now, and thus doesn't tell you anything more than "we're a b2b company".


I put that blurb into ChatGPT and asked it to translate the corporate speak into normal English:

Lexmark makes cloud-based printing and smart device technologies to help businesses achieve their goals faster. They use reliable technology and industry knowledge to help companies improve, turning information into useful insights, data into decisions, and analysis into action.


Someone please turn that into a the backing vocals of a techno song.



They help realize business outcomes.




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