There's so much wrong with this that it's hard to see if there's anything at all right with it.
> More specifically, it doesn't work offline.
??? Of fucking course it does! You mean Git Hub doesn't work offline, don't you?
> It relies on merge controls that aren't even a part of git with Pull Requests.
No, git doesn't "rely on merge controls that aren't even a part of git". Other things do. Things people nowadays confuse with git. People like, apparently, the author of TFA. (And no, the "F" doesn't stand for "fine" in this case.)
> Dump the decentralized model.
You can do that yourself: Just don't use it.
> Move a lot of the work server-side and on-demand.
Sure, just ssh into the server and run your search there. What's your problem?
> Pull Request as a first-class citizen.
A: Huh? But that's part of a decentralized workflow, and didn't you just say to "Dump the decentralized model"? Make up your mind.
> Why did SVN get dumped then? One word: branches.
Yeah, that is a bit ironic... Seeing as how git's killer feature was branches, and for the last ten years (or how long has it been; at least five?) everyone has been pooh-poohing them and going on about their "linear commit history", as if that were somehow so fucking important.
> I also think programmers love decentralized designs because it encourages the (somewhat) false hope of portability. Yes I am entirely reliant on GitHub actions, Pull Requests, GitHub access control
Who told you to make yourself dependant on all that shit? I sure didn't, and I'm pretty sure git didn't either. Sounds -- again -- like your problem is with GitHub, not with git.
> I could move the actual repo itself to a different provider.
Your problem is probably that you think you need a "provider" in the first place. Just put a fucking ordinary git repo somewhere, and use that.
> More specifically, it doesn't work offline.
??? Of fucking course it does! You mean Git Hub doesn't work offline, don't you?
> It relies on merge controls that aren't even a part of git with Pull Requests.
No, git doesn't "rely on merge controls that aren't even a part of git". Other things do. Things people nowadays confuse with git. People like, apparently, the author of TFA. (And no, the "F" doesn't stand for "fine" in this case.)
> Dump the decentralized model.
You can do that yourself: Just don't use it.
> Move a lot of the work server-side and on-demand.
Sure, just ssh into the server and run your search there. What's your problem?
> Pull Request as a first-class citizen.
A: Huh? But that's part of a decentralized workflow, and didn't you just say to "Dump the decentralized model"? Make up your mind.
B: "git request-pull": https://git-scm.com/docs/git-request-pull
> Why did SVN get dumped then? One word: branches.
Yeah, that is a bit ironic... Seeing as how git's killer feature was branches, and for the last ten years (or how long has it been; at least five?) everyone has been pooh-poohing them and going on about their "linear commit history", as if that were somehow so fucking important.
> I also think programmers love decentralized designs because it encourages the (somewhat) false hope of portability. Yes I am entirely reliant on GitHub actions, Pull Requests, GitHub access control
Who told you to make yourself dependant on all that shit? I sure didn't, and I'm pretty sure git didn't either. Sounds -- again -- like your problem is with GitHub, not with git.
> I could move the actual repo itself to a different provider.
Your problem is probably that you think you need a "provider" in the first place. Just put a fucking ordinary git repo somewhere, and use that.
Sheesh.