I guess I don't see the point in arguing that someone has the right to be offended. Of course they do. Everyone does. But is it a good thing? Isn't being offended a bad thing? Doesn't it feel bad to be offended, and doesn't it also feel bad to be the person giving offense? Doesn't it make sense to try as hard as possible to not get offended, to wait as long as possible, to give every benefit of the doubt, before being offended?
The tacit assumption here is that being offended is a good thing. That its a point of pride. I disagree, very strongly. Offense weakens relationships, and dehumanizes the one giving offense. It's not the offense is always illegitimate, it's that it's a reaction of last resort, and encouraging others to take offense is bias in the wrong direction. We should encourage others (and ourselves) to take the least offense possible. That way when we do take offense it's quite meaningful.
No. Offense is a (complex) emotional signal that you may not be able to ally with someone because their worldview differs from yours in a way that your goals are likely to come into conflict. It's no more bad to be offended than it's bad to be angry, or sad, or happy; it's an emotional signal, one that binds to a complex sociological model.
> Doesn't it make sense to try as hard as possible to not get offended, to wait as long as possible, to give every benefit of the doubt, before being offended?
Maybe. Maybe not. It depends on the degree of the offense, the likelihood of adjustment of either party into a configuration where the offense is mitigated (very low for random internet interactions), and (here's the key) the potential upside of further interaction with the other party. For an Internet rando commenting on the feed of someone they don't know, the possible upside to that someone is low.
As much as we like to, each of us, think of ourselves as insightful luminaries and Renaissance men and women of the new era, spreading truth and novel insight and peering with the greatest minds of our generation on the egalitarian footing of social media... folks like Julia get to see dozens of folks parroting the same talking points as the ones she banned daily. If she's not planning to argue that point (and she has plenty of experience with the point to make that decision), it's fine to just toss a "The odds of any interaction we will have in the future producing value for either of us are near zero" ban on the account and go on with her day. Maybe some day she'll discover she banned someone who turns out to be fun to know in another social setting and she'll unban them. But the odds are near zero.
> We should encourage others (and ourselves) to take the least offense possible.
Why? What's the upside in a world of more than eight billion people in a context as casual as Mastodon posts?
I present to you a counter-model: maybe people should learn to do a lot more reading and a lot less posting. "Reading the room" is a more complicated skill when the room is virtual and varies from feed to feed in something as diverse as Mastodon... But it never stopped being a useful skill.
> Your worldview is based on the assumption that offense is pleasant
With respect: I believe you have misunderstood me. Offense doesn't feel good; it's unpleasant. Whether something that feels bad is bad is context-specific. Pain, for example, can be caused by neuron misfiring or by having your hand on a hot stove; you definitely don't want to just tell yourself "Oh, this pain is something I'm feeling because I've been conditioned to; I should self-reflect on why I feel this way" if it's the hot-stove case.
When we feel offended, sometimes it's inappropriate (i.e. the signal isn't telling us anything useful). But sometimes it's quite appropriate. In online interactions with strangers? It's often appropriate and the appropriate response is to just silence the stranger rather than getting into an ultimately-fruitless back-and-forth over fundamentally opposed worldviews.
The tacit assumption here is that being offended is a good thing. That its a point of pride. I disagree, very strongly. Offense weakens relationships, and dehumanizes the one giving offense. It's not the offense is always illegitimate, it's that it's a reaction of last resort, and encouraging others to take offense is bias in the wrong direction. We should encourage others (and ourselves) to take the least offense possible. That way when we do take offense it's quite meaningful.