Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't get into survival mode. Studies show that when people feel guilty/stressed for a behavior, they fall into the behaviors that they are trying to avoid. [1][2]

[1] https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/abs/10.1521/jscp.24.2.254.6...

[2] https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037/0003-066X.40....