But DNA is also hardware (its structure encodes data, it can catalyze reactions)! So the rules that apply to hardware... no, let's not trivialize this by making weak analogies.

> its structure encodes data, it can catalyze reactions

Nope, it can't. It first needs to be transcribed by actual hardware (RNA polymerase).

You can view the DNA as a harddrive platter, and the data it encodes as the software.

Sure, it can: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deoxyribozyme

(I have a PhD in nucleic acid structure and function)

Okay, didn't know that :)

But still you can view a reaction of substance X with DNAzyme Y to be the hardware X taking apart the storage of software Y in order to read it. A destructive read operation, so to speak (or non-destructive in some cases).

I find these sorts of analogies naive, and missing the point.